Sunday, December 31, 2006

State of Disaster

Yes, it's true. Our governer has declared our city a "state of disaster." The National Guard is on standby. We've been stuck at home since Friday without cable, without internet! We did not lose our electricity though. The trash finally got picked up today. It's been a little crazy for us New Mexicans. Usually in Albuquerque anyway, we just wait a few hours and everything gets cleared up. We have about 363 days of sunshine. So to say we aren't used to 4 feet of snow is a bit of an understatement.
The kids and I are all hopped up on hot chocolate, Christmas cookies, ice cream, fudge, and popcorn.
Just to give you some idea of the kind of record snowfall we've experienced. Here is a picture of our BBQ grill. It was used for our dinner the night before!
I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year and I hope I get out of this house soon and to the mall or else!
Happy New Year!
Also, the 49ers kicked the Broncos butt!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

cansado y irritable

Christmas 2006. Sucked @$$. The kids had fun and liked their gifts so I guess that’s all that counts.
I’m all about lists. I like them because they help me gain perspective. They keep me organized. They help me look at things honestly. They help me realize that nothing can be gained from tying someone’s hands to the bed post and covering their mouth and nose with my bare hand until they cry blood. No. They help me see the consequences outweigh the benefits. Anyway, here’s a few that I’ve been working on.

Things my husband and I have in common:
1. we’re humans
2. we breathe air
3. we drive cars
4. we both sleep
5. we live in the same house

Things that are going to drive me to commit some kind of act that is
generally frowned upon by society:
1. people who don’t use their blinkers!
2. being lied to
3. being let down by my best friend,
over & over, & over again
4. broken promises
5. being neglected
6. being treated like I’m always wrong when
clearly the world would be a better place if
people would just realize that I’m always

Things I need to STOP eating:
1. my mom’s better than sex fudge!
2. homemade apple pie
3. my mom’s chocolate chip cookies
4. my mom’s divinity, made w/o nuts-just for me!
5. deviled eggs
6. meltaway mints

My To Do List:
1. clean out clothes & shoes
2. clean out garage
3. finish the great “Purse Display” project
4. paint walls
5. purge, purge, and more purging
6. take purged items to charity or back to his mother

Good things the Hubbs does:
1. he cleans the house
2. he makes dinner
3. he can iron his own clothes
4. he is a good dad
5. he makes the bed
6. he works
7. he changes the oil in my Jeep
8. he makes the payments on my Jeep
9. he showers
10. he takes me on vacation
11. he says thank you when I make his coffee

New Year’s Resolutions:
1. find a church for my family and then go
2. play with the kids more
3. clean house from top to bottom, inside & out
4. do things for myself again
5. try to eat better & drink more water(blah, blah, blah)
6. read through the Bible
7. cultivate friendships
8. become a roller derby girl or a pussycat doll

song of the day: “Smack that” by Akon

Thursday, December 21, 2006



1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm
Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the
Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Baby, it's cold outside

This is the view from our front porch:

Monday, December 18, 2006

Is your name Earl?

To the "ladies," and I use that term very loosely, at the mall on Saturday, in the maroon extended cab Chevy pick up-"you reap what you sow."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Words to add to your vocabulary

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

gym etiquette 101

1. In circuit training, leave at least one machine empty between you and the next person, especially if there are 20 OTHER machines that are empty and perfectly usable. It gives the machine one turn to AIR OUT before the next person needs to use it!
2. Instead of throwing the weights or any other equipment down, why not just take a second to SET them on the ground. You might actually stretch a muscle and possibly burn a calorie! Also, the rubber won't be peeling off the weights because the 5 million people that use them everyday have actually taken some care with them.
3. When exiting a machine, leave it in the starting position. For example, don't leave the ab cruncher machine bent over so the next person has to crunch down to get in! With the side ab worker thing, don't leave it twisted all the way to one side so that only a cirque de something contortionist is the only one able to sit down! One more. The inner thigh squeezer one- this is one time when having the legs closed isn't a good thing. Leave the legs open so the next person can back in and sit down! Especially for those of us that don't have legs 6 foot long to just climb over the whole thing!
4. Don't stare, it's creepy and defeats the whole point of going to a woman's gym.
5. When doing 15 minutes of the hula hoop, don't stand so close to the ab cruncher so that if feels like fingers are going to be chopped off, mrs. gestapo-nazi gym lady.
Personal space people!
6. Wear shoes for pete's sake. Honestly!
7. If you are somewhere near a 100 pounds or tall and slim, don't even bother to come to the gym!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

(crickets chirping)

Sorry! I just haven't had much to write about lately and I'm not so much in the holiday spirit. I love Christmas time but I also hate what it does/doesn't do to people. I'm tired of rude shoppers, lady at the dollar store that was acting like Rambo, I'm talkin' to you! I haven't even decorated our house yet. The Hubbs and the boys put up the tree and decorated it. I'm listening to Christmas music all day, I sorta, kinda started my baking. My mom is finally back from visiting her OTHER kids. The ones that moved away from her. Anyway, I think I'm going to put my Elvis Christmas album on. Maybe that will work!