Sunday, April 30, 2006

Another new purse

Yes, I'm on a missione for a new purse. I did just receive my denim w/red trim Dooney, which I love,love,love. (#7 has had many an adventure since she's come into my life. All the exciting things of a 30 something year old. You know, ironing, laundry, vacuuming, she's even accompanied me to the couch for a nap!) I know it's weird and only some people will get it, but now I would like an orange purse. Beautiful orange, like the color of my walls, or possibly my new car. Hmm. Maybe I'm lacking something in my diet? But, I digress. I don't want to spend $200. for said purse, which I have no problem with, but this isn't a new investment. It's a whim and I don't want to feel guilty about it, when in a few months, I no longer want to carry an orange purse and the lucky dogs at Salvation Army will then be blessed w/an orange purse. The problem is, I am unable to locate an orange purse in the style I want and the price I want. Why, why am I so cursed?!!!

Okay, really, I do want an orange purse and have been painstakingly scouring the malls and superstores for an orange purse, but I have not had any luck. Nothing quite so dramatic but it's fun to write. I will keep you "posted" on the search...

Saturday, April 29, 2006


Things They Don't Tell You In The Books:
1. The "fun stuff" only lasts for a nanosecond. The rest is pure blood, sweat, and tears. and more tears. throw in some notes sent home from the teacher, meetings w/principals and counselors, hitting, scratching, punching, throwing sand, pushing, wrestling, and poking fingers in faces, a few margaritas, and yes, a few more tears.
2. The minute you turn your back to talk on the phone, post a blog, go to the bathroom, BLINK, etc. the kids will do any and all stunts that are normally forbidden when a parent is in immediate smacking vicinity.
3. Kids are really manipulating, coniving, sneaky little creatures sent to test your patience, your ninja skills, and your ability to not cave under pressure.
4. All kids are bi-polar, or have multiple personalities. One minute they are saying, "Mom, I love you so much. You're the best mom in the world!" Then if you show the slightest bit of softening, they go in for the kill. (mine are even in their teens yet!)
5. Wal-mart turns kids into freaks. This is not a joke. My kids, I must say, are pretty well behaved in public. The mall, a restaurant, parks, whatever, they know how to behave, they don't throw temper tantrums, they are quite civilized, I am quite proud of them. Nevermind that I have finely honed my skill of threatening them w/any and all kinds of humiliation, torture,and I'm certainly not above with holding candy for a week.(more for me!) The second we step into Wal-mart, they become these giggling, irritating, unable to properly steer a cart, twirling in the middle of the aisle, touching everything, Freaks! No amount of the "evil eye" or pinching, or crying (usually on my part), ever seems to work. Wal-mart is pure *&%^%...I will have to save that for another post.
6. Kids are gross! They poop. They throw-up. They develop weird coughs and rashes/warts and habits. They pick their nose and pee in their beds. They find the weirdest things and immediately think that mom should be the first person to see it. They like to watch t.v. shows with animals ripping other animals apart or bugs being buggy and creepy. They get stinky and sticky and you're never really sure from where! The kids, not the bugs.
7.Kids will challenge you and everything you say or do. They can make you feel guilty, awful, mortified and embarassed, all at once.
8. Kids can make you want to pull all of your toenails out and pour salt in the wounds or stick your hand in a running garbage disposal while knawing off your other arm!
The books also don't tell you that once you have kids you can never imagine your life without them, because really, what would you cry about? It's extremely hard to raise children and sometimes it feels like your invisible, and your brain is mush, and you will never have a coherent thought again. Then the pipe under the sink starts gushing water, and the kids stand there and watch everything get ruined and they have no idea where a towel might be, and maybe if I pull things out one by one in slow motion my mom will stop screaming like a banshee then I can go back to washing dishes in cold, dirty water, and wow. That makes it all worthwhile.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


We have been kicking around the idea of buying a new car. I don't know if I'm ready to give up my Jeep. It's going to have to be one kick-butt kind of car in a fun color like orange or yellow. It has to have a sunroof and be able to seat 5. We test drove a Saturn Ion. Cute but doesn't have any power and seriously lacking in the fun color dept. Why do they think that just because you aren't buying a sporty little number that you aren't any fun and therefore only need to drive black, white, or blue cars? Guess my Jeep will be sticking around for a while...

Friday, April 21, 2006

The Field Trip of '06

I went w/Hurricane H on a field trip to the Zoo. I believe the last time I went on a field trip was w/Travieso when he was in K, and we also went to the Zoo. I could be wrong and have just blocked out any memories of other field trips... So, is it a coincedence that my last field trip was 5yrs. ago? I think not.

I go to class w/H and sit down at a table to wait for instructions. A girl sits down in her spot and proceeds to tell me that she is sooooooo tired because she has to get up at 5 o'clock and that she has allergies, and blah, blah, blah. I try to listen and respond @ appropriate times but come on! I'm talking, no listening, to this 5yr. old who's going on 50! Then I have this thought about what if this person is put in my group to escort around the Zoo? What are the chances that out of 20 students, I will get her? My chances were excellent! Sure enough, H's teacher gives me my assignment and look who's name appears on my sheet. By this time, 15 min. into the whole excursion, I'm berating myself for thinking I should pass on a Frappucino. I'm tough. I won't need any caffeine.

Next, we all pile onto the bus and the noise level is pretty high considering we have smooshed three classes of 5-6yr. olds in an enclosed space. They were a bit entertaining though, I must admit. Each time we hit a pothole(translation=every 5 seconds because this is NM) or a speed bump or rounded a curve, we were treated to a chorus of high pitched squeals. Every.single.time. Did I mention the high pitch? Have you heard a bunch of little girls squeal?

We make it to the Zoo, slightly deaf, and get into our designated groups. Hurricane H, me, and two little girls. One who instantly likes me and wants to hold my hand, lil' ms Jlo, and then the old lady in a 5yr. old body. Turns out she also has a map of the Zoo stored in her memory because she's been here a million times! Which makes sense because she's probably the Zoo founder who's been reincarnated. So, because she knows the Zoo by heart, she will boss her little minions around and all decisions will be approved through her.

I had to let lil ms Shirley McClain know I was the leader of this pack and I wasn't going to put up w/any type of insubordination, which was promptly reinforced by the Hurricane. Once I established dominance, we did pretty good. Until the pack leader got lost.
It all started in Africa. Which of course was the opposite of where lil ms Shirley McClain wanted to go. (Yes, I generally have to do the opposite of what I'm TOLD because I'm the one in control, especially when it comes to a 5yr. old)
Anyway, we tour through Africa to see the giraffes, lions, hippos, and other stinky creatures. Then we come upon the gorillas* who are working themselves into a frenzy.
*sidenote-I can.not.STAND. apes, gorillas, monkeys, any of those things. If I were allowed to hate something that is what it would be. I have an antipathy for... ok you get the picture.

We come upon these loathsome creatures and in my haste to avoid this exhibit at all costs, we go another path. Crisis averted. Then I notice that it is almost 11am which is the preset time for all to gather back at the park for lunch. Fine. Head back, eat lunch, see more stinkys, head home.
At this point the girls are dragging their feet and their lunch, pony tails are drooping, and they have decided that slow motion is good pace to walk. I didn't start to panic until we pass the hippos, again, and then, in attempting to take a different path I keep encountering dead ends. Now, call it an "active imagination", or "paranoia." Whatever. I am starting to freak out! These flippin' exhibits usually guide you around in a circle and dump you back onto a main street so you can start again.
But NO. Mrs. Pack leader, hear me roar, has to find the one exhibit under construction, therefore all paths are not complete, therefore, you are now a rat in a maze. Did I have that stupid easy button. NO. I have two pitiful little girls, crawling behind me, probably hoping they can get a new "mom" for the rest of the day. Hurricane is oblivious to anyone's plight and wants to stop and look at everything we've already seen, some twice. And I feel like I'm in a Wal-mart run Zoo, because where are all the chipper little Zoo people now that I need one? Which probably worked out for the best, since I would have been thrown out for throttling someone.

By now it is past 11 o'clock, and Africa is seriously starting to annoy me. My troops are pooped, hungry, and can smell fear. We did finally manage to make it out of the desert oasis alive and I am confident once again that I know where I'm going.

We find the rest of the class, who is finishing up their lunch, and I almost start weeping w/relief. H's teacher must have seen the panic in my eyes, or the frustration in my frazzled hair because she came right over to us. I told her we just couldn't get out of Africa through clenched teeth. And she laughed. She laughed and said, "Oh, listen to you!" I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was scheduled to appear at Laffs comedy club. (breathing, counting to 10)

After we finished lunch we spent the rest of our time about 20 feet from the Exit, where we were all supposed to meet up to leave. I guess I did ok, because lil ms 'Jlo gave me a hug, snot running down her face and fingers covered in hot cheetos dust. H asked when I would go to school w/him again. (ok, 2 out 3, give me a break) As for going on another field trip- Not a chance, baby!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Good Things

Good things came in the mail today! First, my schedule to help in the nursery @ church. I can get my fix holding little ones and then send them home with their mom and dad! Second. My newest addition to my Dooney collection came! She's so cute! She's dark denim w/red trim and two front pockets. Hey, if Rele can name his guitars, I can call my purses, she. Anyway, such fine craftsmanship and joy that it brings. Happy Mother's Day to me! (also, thanks to Rele for making this happen) Ok, back to walking around the house w/my new bag, and yes, it is totally going to bed w/me. Just kidding! Ok, so maybe right next to bed...

Everyday Stuff

I realized I haven't posted in a while so I will fill you in on general stuff. Last week Rele and I were inducted into the hall of fame! Ok, we were just presented w/certificates from our church that we completed the new members class. It was exciting. I've never been an official member as an adult w/o my parents. Anyway, Mr. Rockstar played drums on Wed. night and for Sunday Easter services. He is so cute up there playing his little heart out! I have quite a conflict because I'm in church, but my husband is soooo sexy on the drums! Anyway, Travis played the part of God in a skit in his classroom. He did a very good job! Grandma & Grandpa came to see him and when he first came on stage Hunter yells, "There's Travis!"
There's not much else going on. I am impatiently wating on my newest purchase. It's a banana bag, Dooney & Bourke, denim w/red trim!!! I'm too excited to sleep!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I got honked at!

So, I was driving down Menaul, the wind in my hair, my way cool shades on, and I got honked at! Wow! I still got! At 31, with 2 kids, 7yrs of marriage, driving the family car, oh yeah!
I look over and this policman puts up his hand and flashes 3 then 5 very forcefully and with great authority! I was going 40 in a 35 and he expected me to slow down MORE! All kinds of things flashed through my head. First of all I was appalled at being singled out. Secondly, what are the cars that are black and grey? Obviously not APD, so who does he think he is? He was in uniform but do I really have to listen to him? All this is going on in my head. In reality, I nod my head ok, smile sheepishly, and Can you even imagine?! I was already being considerate by going 40 and not kicking it up to 50 like normal.
Anyway, I later learned that yes indeed, the black and grey cars are legit. and he could have pulled me over and given me a ticket or taken me jail if he so desired. So, thank you Mr. Policeman for only giving me hand signals, and thank you to me for keeping myself in check and obeying the laws of the land, no matter how irritatingly SLOW they may be.

Friday, April 07, 2006

My Husband

Can I just tell you what an amazing husband I have?! He is so perfect for me and I can't believe that God has blessed me w/such a wonderful man. He spoils me so much it's not even funny. He makes me feel secure in our relationship, in myself, and in life. He doesn't make me feel self- conscious about my weight, or any of my other gazillion insecurities. He does housework, cooking, and takes care of the kids! Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. He's a bit of a bad boy and likes to see how far he can push me sometimes. We are such opposites and almost never like the same thing, or have much in common, and we both came into this marriage w/a TON of baggage. We met and married in a month, each w/a child, and we have worked so hard to keep it together. I bring this up because we have a couple of friends that are having a really rough time in their marriages and it's something that is so hard to see happen. So, I'm thinking of all the good things my husband does and I'm always thankful that we can have fun and work together and strive to reach the same goals.When we do have conflict, Rele is usually the peacemaker and tries to make sure we talk things out. That's no easy task, believe me. I'm a control freak, a perfectionist, stubborn, prideful and a bunch of other things we don't need to get into, because this is about Rele.
example:He's been running early in the mornings for at least the past year. I decide to join a gym because our stupid treadmill doesn't work. It's not that it's broken, it's that I've used it at least a half a dozen or so times, and HELLO!!! I'm still not in the pound range I want to be. Anyway, so I join a gym and try a couple of different times to go, and find that in the morning will work the best. So, Rele says fine, and he's been getting up a half hour before the crack of dawn, just so he can be back in time for me to go to my workout! Priceless.
I don't deserve him but I'm keeping him and I hope that I can be half the person he is.(Not just because that's how much I want to weigh either.) ;)
Oh, and have I mentioned that he's going to tattoo my name on his chest AND that he rides a Harley?! That's hot.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Travis: Taylar, did you see the pig get killed?
Taylar: What pig?
Travis: Grandma said at the matanza that you guys were going to see a pig get killed.
Taylar: Oh yeah. By the time we got there they already killed it.
Hunter: EEEEWWWW, why would anyone ever want to kill a pig?!
Travis: You like bacon don't you?
Hunter: Yes.
Travis: Well, bacon comes from pigs.
Hunter: No it doesn't! Mom gets it from the store.

My job is done. He knows hot dogs, hamburger, and chicken come from the store also.

I believe

Ok, so there's this scientist guy who says that Jesus could have walked on a patch of ice instead of water. Possibly through "a rare combination of water and atmospheric conditions in the sea of Galilee, 2000 yrs. ago."

#1-its a THEORY meaning not fact!

#2-"a rare combination" means not exactly an everyday, concrete occurance, that could or could not have happened.

#3-He has no idea what the temperature was or which way the wind was blowing or if someone farted!

#4-He says he's received hateful e-mails since his article was published-that's a great way to witness and convince someone to believe in God!

I have faith in the Bible and it's truth, but I must admit when I first saw the headline I was irritated. If you call yourself a Christian and you know what you believe in and have faith in miracles why would you let some guy's theory ruffle your feathers?

Here's a thought: if you don't want people to pay attention to something-don't acknowledge it, picket, ban or otherwise put it in the spotlight!

I just think that we need a smarter approach to issues. Maybe we could point out that we have written, eye-witness accounts of the many amazing miracles and events in the Bible. Or that this is just one person's theory that may or may not have even occured, just like at that moment a pig could have flown across the sky, if a rare combination of events took place. Besides, even if there happened to be at just that moment in time, a rare atmospheric occurence, and there was a patch of ice in the middle of a lake, technically the Sea of Galilee is a lake, and it's nowhere near Antarctica, isn't that quite a miracle?

Monday, April 03, 2006


I don't if it's the time change, or if I just feel like being grumpy. I woke up this morning, missing my hubby b/c he works nights, & I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to deal with my hair, or trying to find something that fits, I didn't want to send my boys to school, I didn't want to deal w/NM drivers @ commute time, I didn't want anyone to look at me, to talk to me, to call...

Anyway, on my way to lunch, traffic suddenly comes to a halt right in the middle of the road. I work in an industrial area, so there are a bunch of guys and their trucks and we are all trying to see what the hold up is. Finally we slowly get moving and there is a police car in the median with it's lights flashing, no cars, no people lying on the road, "What the sam hill is going on?"

Then I see it. A scruffy little black dog. Crossing the road. Looking all around like, "What's all the fuss about?" (insert head tilt) With all that's going on, it's nice to know people will still take time to stop for a puppy in the road. Awww...