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I got nothing. I'm bored. I'm not motivated. Just thought you should know.

I will leave you with this:
overheard from the kitchen during dinner of fried chicken last night-

Hurricane: "Hey! Why is there a bone in my chicken?! I just found a BONE in my chicken!"


PS-Hurricane also got a *glowing* report from his teacher at the parent/teacher conference yesterday. He's at the top of his class and he's funny, and he gets jokes and sarcasm. The rest of the class is too serious. I love his teacher.

driving lesson #567

Pulling into traffic.
If you only have one lane to pull into, wait until there isn't anybody coming before you pull out. If someone is coming and you pull in front of them, you better gun it so they don't have to slow down or hand you your butt through the windsheild!
If there is more than one lane of traffic, always pull into the lane that doesn't have anyone in it. If you pull onto the road and realize you've picked the wrong lane, turn on your blinker and get the heck out of the way!
Side note-if you are at an intersection with out a light and you want to make a left hand turn, move to the left of the lane as far as possible. This leaves room for those wanting to turn right and not wanting to wait until God has come before you decide to chance pulling to the middle of the road before completing your turn!

Doesn't work well with others

the Badoozer

has issued a new challenge. But, since I really don't like to be told what to do, and I couldn't have done what she asked if I wanted to, I've sort of done the opposite of what she asked for. She wanted pictures of old, stinky, smelly shoes or something like that. I have instead posted some of my favorite shoes of the moment from my winter collection. I know, material things are not what we're all about, blah, blah, blah. Shoes are fun and make me smile! Here are a few of my favorites:

I'm always up for boots. I included my new brown wedge boots w/a buckle, and I could never leave out my Harley Davidson boots. I also noticed a theme of red and green. Hmmm...interesting. I love platform heels, and heels w/straps around the ankle and wedge heels and anything with a bow! I'm slowly getting into ballerina flats, being that I'm only 5 foot nothing, I only do those occasionally, but what better than CAMO ballerina flats?!

Shoes are so much fun.
Wedges, heels, platforms, boots, flats,
Love to wear them all!

eso-si-que-es

This is the sock bouquet that I got for VD! I love these socks!

Here they are on:

I know, it's weird that I get excited over socks, but I've been looking for some like this for a while. I found them online from one of the girls next door, and I asked the Hubbs for them and Voila! I am so spoiled and believe me, I know it, and I do appreciate it!

My Valentine

The Hubbs got to come home on Wednesday. The surgery went fine and he is recovering. You think that once a procedure is finished, you are done. Not so much. The recovery is just as worrisome. You have to look out for infections, there are numerous pills to take, you have to watch for fever, and all this is on top of just trying to feel better. I am thankful it was caught in time, and my honey is home safe. It's all just a reminder that we are not infallable. Thank you, God, for protecting him and sending him back home to me safe and sound.

Prayers welcome

The Hubbs was very sick all day yesterday. He decided to go to the hospital and get checked out. He was admitted and he just got out of surgery. He had an appendectomy.
We also had a snow storm last night, so I am stuck at home and my honey is in the hospital and I can't get to him. Now the schools are on a two hour delay, which means I have to wait even longer before I can go see my husband.
Happy Valentine's Day.

I couldn't resist...

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows how to answer
"how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best
friend.


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor
store and a golf course.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit

#567-Things No One Tells You About Marriage

How Women Shower... How Men Shower
Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
- Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror * make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

- Get in the shower.

- Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Condition your hair with grapefruit conditioner.

Wash your face with apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with vanilla kiwi body wash.

- Rinse conditioner off hair.

- Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

- Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

- Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

- Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.


Return to bedroom wearing dressing gown and towel on head.

- If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.

- Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.


- Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

- Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

- Get in the shower.

- Wash your face.

- Wash your armpits.

- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the
snot off.

- Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

- Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area.

- Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
soap.

- Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

- Pee.

- Rinse off and get out of shower.

- Partially dry off.

- Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
out of tub the whole time.

- Admire wiener size in mirror again.

- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan
on.

- Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

- If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the woo-woo sound again.

- Throw wet towel on her pillow.

10

10 Things I Don't want to talk about:

my weight
my hair
those #$%^ heelie shoe things
taxes
the tickets I DIDN'T get to the Daughtry concert
the migraine that's setting in
monkeys
global warming
people who don't use their blinker
how much I love my husband & how good he is to me, because if I talk about it I'm afraid it will be taken away from me(/cheese)

Thanks to badoozer for today's material!